Excuses

Originally published at browneyedgirl.nu. You can comment here or there.

Every time I sit down to update, something else comes up. Or my computer freezes. Or I can think of nothing to write. Seriously.

Things have been a bit better around here lately. Both boys are feeling better. I still have a cough that just keeps hanging on, otherwise I'm better too. Of course, feeling better equates to feeling active, and last week our high was in the 40s. 40 degree weather and an over active three year old. Yeah, those go together.

Last week Jonathan had two preschool enrollment days. The first was for Head Start, which we have been trying to get him into since last September. The second was for the preschool at the grade school here in town. At Head Start all they did was take our verification of income and send us on our way. Can I tell you how well this sits with me? It doesn't. Because he can't get in if we make too much money or if he doesn't have a disability. That's fine and dandy but their income qualifications suck and how in the hell can you tell me if he has a disability or not when you DON'T EVEN TALK TO HIM? I was pissed and bitch the whole way home from it. I'm not saying J has a disability, but it has been obvious for a while now that he has a speech delay, which is the main reason we first started trying to get him into Head Start to begin with.

The enrollment at the grade school was an actual screening where he went to three stations. Language, Motor Skills, and Concepts. They actually worked with him and talked to him, and when he was done they sat down with me and discussed his scores. Initially I thought about blogging in detail about what we found out, but I can't do it. I feel like I would be putting J on display and setting myself up for the "You're a bad mom" finger wagging, so suffice to say the lady I talked to at the screening agreed with my assessment of his speech delay and is going to put a word in for J at Head Start. She thinks he would benefit greatly from it. She was just as mad as I was when I told her about how they didn't even talk to J when we took him to their "enrollment". She wants him to see a speech therapist to get a better idea of where he is and to make sure there isn't something physically wrong that it causing the delay.

The whole experience has me completely torn. On the one had, although I don't want J to have disabilities, I'm so glad that we've found out there may be something wrong now so that we can get him the help he needs. While he is young. On the other hand, when she handed me a list of things I could be doing with him to help him, I wanted to cry. It was like she was saying, "Here's what you're doing wrong." And you know what? We already do about 90% of the things on the list. We read to him, we count with him, we talk to him, we play with him. Every day I sit down and work on numbers and colors and letters with him. We have workbooks and flash cards and videos.

All along, a big part of J's "problem" is that he is the only kid his age in town. He's the only kid close to his age in town. He doesn't get to interact with kids his own age. He's constantly surrounded my adults. Adults who, without even realizing it, tend to finish his sentences for him. Also by not being around his peers he hasn't really learned how to share and play nice. Which, really, he does pretty well with considering.

J is not dumb, he is not stupid. And I don't say this because I am his mom and I don't want to admit something is wrong with him. I say it because it is true. He picks up on things very quickly. He surprises me every day by knowing something that I don't recall teaching him.

Other than that, we're all still here and I promise to try and update more often.